Thursday, 7 March 2013

St. Nicholas Refusing His Mother’s Milk

Unknown artist


  1. Good Lord! That's not a nipple, it's a nozzle!

    Knowing nothing whatsoever of the official story, I can only surmise that young Nick had at some time previously, unwisely taken a clamp upon the proffered article and had then been pumped relentlessly full, like a jet on the receiving end of an air-to-air tanker, until his little eyes were popping out of his head, and milk was seeping from all his bodily orifices.

    This experience so traumatised him that in later life he dedicated himself to developing a virulent, self-replicating programme for the internet, that would thenceforth seek out every image of a nipple ever posted, and erase it, leaving every breast as a blind, unfocussed mound.

    This programme so incensed the inhabitants of the innertent that they sought poor Nick out, and had him smothered by overendowed porn starlets.
    For this he was sainted.

    And it is my lonely task to redraw all those erased nipples.

    1. The poor child. How did he become a baguette, I wonder?