I Have Seen The Whole Of The Internet: August 2008

It seems to be getting worse by the year, I only go thinking I'd be missing something, but no, it's the same old shite. I don't like crowds at the best of times, people annoy me, especially slow-moving ones, so I quickly purchased some incense, an umbrella and some stripy socks before I lost my marbles and scarpered. The most off-putting part was every four or five metres some eejit was howling bad country & western ballax into a mic, the noises in my head all merged into a psychotic mess of howls, seagull noises, bangers and screaming kids. I caught as glimpse of some native American Indian people playing pan-pipes in the midst of it. I was then put in a strait-jacket and led home.